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BNP camp

Mum, where’d you put my sleeping bag?

It’s less than a month away now until the tentpegs are hammered in at BNP Camp (official title – the Red, White & Blue Camp) in the heart of Derbyshire. The weekend of the 16th August sees up to 5000 fascists (big dogs are free – cheaper than taking the girlfriend) descend onto the quiet village of Denby, famous for its pottery.

The festival has grown into an annual neo-Nazi jamboree through the goodwill of a local landowner and BNP member who allows the party to use his land and erect a big wheel, dodgems and hold firework displays. There’s all-night drinking and, according to local residents, bouts of mass singalongs. These lot don’t sing ‘Ging-gang-gooly’ or ‘Kum-by-yah’, they sing Second World War German marching songs. Really! I hope there are lyric sheets or I’m knackered.


The landowner in question is a Mr Alan Warner, and he laughs off suggestions that the festival is, basically, a big drunken racist gathering (see there’s a better name for the festival. Big Drunken Racist Gathering. At least there wouldn’t be any confusion). He says, “We are not Nazis. We are just the opposite.”

I’ve been trying to work that out for a while, but it’s proving difficult. Maybe I’d find help on the British Nationalist Youth Movement website? Well, they are at least offering guidance in what the young Nazi needs to pack for camp. Here’s the list:

Water bottle/flask
Torch
Knife
Wet weather kit
Trainers
Sleeping bag
Small tent
Plate or mess tins
Washing kit
Pen and paper
White T-Shirt (cheap)
T-shirts and tops
Trousers
Jacket
6 x pairs of socks
Spare underwear
Clothes for socialising
Sun cream
Hat
Shin Pads

Yes, yes, Mum, take trousers. I know. I always forget trousers. Six pairs of socks? It’s a three-day camp. Well, you can say what you like about the fascists, but they have clean feet. My favourite though has to be ‘Clothes for Socialising’. Go on, make an impression at Nazi Camp! If one of the Camp leaders gets frisky at the sight of your Socialising Clothes, you’ve always got your shin pads to protect you.

There are a few omissions which the organizers forgot to add – boots, beer and big dog are three handy essentials for any Big Drunken Racist Gathering (from now on, BDRG). Let’s not be cynical about the Youth wing of the BNP, though – their website does have a Bible Quiz if you feel so inclined. (Example: ‘Which Gospel is the only one to describe the visit of the wise men to the infant Jesus?’ See, you don’t know it do you? Come along to camp and we’ll find out together, shall we?). You have to love how the fascists are re-discovering the Bible in response to the Muslim reverence for the Qur’an. Maybe there’s something in Leviticus about clean socks. And shin pads.

There’s to be a national demonstration against BDRG on Saturday 16th August in Denby Lane, Codnor, Derbyshire. Eleven am sharp, and whatever you do – don’t forget your trousers.

Boff

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